


Cracks and Broken Pieces

by esmiedo



Series: Kintsugi [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Gen, Kintsugi Children
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-22
Updated: 2018-05-22
Packaged: 2019-05-10 08:40:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14733683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/esmiedo/pseuds/esmiedo
Summary: A collection of side stories from Kintsugi Children, a glimpse into the eyes of the other characters.





	Cracks and Broken Pieces

 

**Kakashi**

_There are five hundred and sixty-three names on the memorial stone._

"Well team, this is the new addition I was talking about."

He barely bothered to look up as Minato's voice broke his concentration, it didn't really matter. The elemental chakra he had managed to build up on the tip of his finger traveled down his body seeking the neutrality of the ground at his feet and leaving behind a red-hot sting through the path it chose. He had managed the simplest form, but the more complicated mechanics were a bit lost to him, so the loss of what little progress he had made was beyond annoying.

_There's a figure that stands beside it, every morning, every afternoon, sometimes they swear they see him at night._

"This is Kyoko," Minato waved vaguely toward the rather unimpressive girl at his side, "Kyoko this is Obito and that is Kakashi." Their eyes met and for a moment Kakashi thought he felt a chill pass up his spine.

There was something strange about her.

Even the idiot Obito seemed to notice it as her face twisted up into an empty smile, all the motion, none of the feeling. Silence fell around the training ground, for a moment everyone seemed like they were too afraid to move, it was as if they would even dare than suddenly something would snap and they would see into what they would rather not.

They worked on teamwork, the newest addition was a support type, mid to long range attacks being her specialty with the subtlety of genjutsu covering the holes where his close combat prowess fell a bit too short. It was boring and honestly unimpressive, he was almost grateful when Obito did something stupid for him to pick on.

It released him from his own thoughts.

When he returned that night to his empty apartment it was that gaze that he felt staring at him in the silence, it was the hollow feeling he couldn't quite shake that followed him into his dreams with the humiliation memories of blood in the air and white hair stained red always seemed to bring.

" _Son?" His father had seemed so untouchable, but in that moment Kakashi thought maybe he could crush him. In the silence, the man seemed to sag, was it odd that his own son would take such vindictive joy in what the simple lack of a response could do to this man? He didn't know, he didn't care._

" _Will you ever forgive me?"_

_He didn't bother to answer._

_Kakashi was sick and tired of all the noise, that was all his father was now. A stranger in his kitchen, the same face of a man he once admired now a disappointment that brought war to their doorstep. A traitor who turned his back on the village for the life of one._

_He never answered anymore._

Kakashi was not aimless, he is not without direction or goals, he has always known what he wants and how to get it. If he were to be frank it is probably why he excelled so much, how he managed to climb the ranks so quickly. It was simple, it was concise, everything had its place, its role, its rules. He had his path, he chose it and would walk it for as long as he could.

It was annoying that the rest of his team wasn't so driven.

Their teacher was simply too permissive, brilliant in so many ways until he was sat in front of idiot kids with too many misguided ideals. Obito was one of the idiot kids, playing dress up in shinobi clothing and headbands too big, he was naïve and careless and everything that would get them killed one day. It was simply dragging Kakashi down, how he would succeed under the weight of someone like Obito dragging him down or the passive stare of the only other member of their team? She had a decent amount of skill which alone put her a step better than Obito, but that didn't change the fact that her passive nature made her as much of a liability.

His thoughts were interrupted as he heard the distinct sound of a blade sinking into flesh at his back, the skin closest to the sound bunching as if it instinctually wanted to withdraw from the danger such a noise insinuated. Turning his head, he glanced at Kyoko as she flicked her Kunai clear of blood, the enemy that had apparently been in his blind spot dead at her feet. The small sensation he had felt earlier now spread to the rest of the skin causing it to crawl and twitch with goosebumps at the unexpected sight.

They shared a glance, her eyes dark and vaguely amused. Neither said anything, simply turning away from each other as she darted ahead to complete their formation.

He would never admit that she may very well not be a liability.

" _What do you think of Kyoko?" Minato stretched out on Kakashi's floor as he wrote in the empty spaces of Jutsu scrolls Kakashi would eventually read._

" _What is there to think?"_

" _Come on don't be that way. You are her teammate and closer to her age, I am just curious what you think about her."_

" _She's creepy."_

" _How so?"_

_There was silence for a long moment as Kakashi stared at his apartment wall, it was difficult to put the feeling into words. To say she was like a doll didn't quite fit, her eyes didn't hold the same shine._

" _She's like a dead fish."_

" _What?" Minato seemed to choke on nothing as he shot up his head whipping around._

" _Dead fish eyes." Kakashi nodded, satisfied with his contribution before turning back to his current scroll._

A person can hide from a lot of things in life, they can pretend not to see something coming, can lie and cheat and steal, but they can never truly conceal their own scent. It what Kakashi liked most, he could smell a lie, could smell happiness, joy, fear, love, anger, and everything in-between. He prided himself in that he could never be deceived if he really felt like poking at an issue, the right words, a little sniff, and he would have his answer.

Until Kyoko.

It was strange, how completely blank her scent was. She, of course, had a natural scent that all living things had,  _dirt, salt, almonds and whatever tea she had that day_ but she lacked the second layer everyone else had, the emotional layer. Pakkun called it humans being overly complicated, he was inclined to agree.

Wide eyes, a void all their own, staring blankly, "Why are you a shinobi?"

Who even asks questions like that?

"Why wouldn't I be?" He hadn't meant to respond as the words tumbled out of his mouth, her slow blink just as surprised as he was.

"I would think the mess would deter most."

He didn't think he particularly wanted to understand her either. She didn't seem to mind either way.

" _Woof." Her face was shockingly close to his, he barely managed to keep from screaming in surprise._

" _What." Kakashi forced himself not to back up, he knew his ninkin sometimes did things like this to challenge his authority. If he showed weakness they would be quick to take advantage._

_She stared for what seemed like hours before pulling back with a nod, "You didn't sense me coming."_

" _Yes, I did!" He forcibly ignored the way his voice cracked, and the way her teeth flashed in the sunlight like a lazy predator._

" _Of course you did, how rude of me to presume otherwise."_

They had taken refuge under the trees, it was fine enough his muscles were burning so the break would do more good than harm. It was the wet season in Konoha, when the chill of winter was chased away and the rains made a nuisance of itself. He was never really a fan of the season, nonetheless, the silence between them was nice.

"Do you know fear?" Or not, he supposed.

"We are waiting for the rain to stop, can we not have one of your weird existential conversations." He nearly slammed his head on the tree behind him, with any luck it would knock him unconscious.

"Oh." He dared to hope for a moment that maybe this time she would actually let the subject drop. "You didn't answer the question." She was staring at him now, he wondered how much rain it would take to drown.

"Everyone knows fear."

"Fear itself is ignorance, do we not simply fear what we do not understand?"

"I don't understand you," Kakashi huffed, "and yet here I am unafraid."

"Are you?"

His heart nearly stopped.

"What?"

"Are you sure you are not afraid of me Kakashi?" He could swear she had yet to blink, her stupid dead fish eyes wide and dull as she continued to stare at him. She seemed satisfied with his silence as if in it he answered her question when he wasn't even sure what the answer was himself.

"We are teammates, so I suppose you have nothing to be afraid of. I made a promise after all." She continued, her eyes finally closing as she smiled at him, "for as long as I am alive I will never let you or Obito die."

"That stupid promise you two made," he responded as he stretched, noting absently that the rain was slowing, "it's useless and makes absolutely no sense."

"Doesn't it?"

"Did I stutter?"

"No?"

"Then you have your answer, don't you?" He huffed making a face behind his mask as he stepped out onto the training field again.

"Oh!" He didn't hear her move, only tracking her through her voice, "That's clever."

He still doesn't think that it's really a bad thing he doesn't understand Kyoko.

_Everyone has good memories and bad memories._

_There was a knock at Kakashi's apartment door. It was three in the morning and someone was knocking on his door._

_Kakashi was not in a good mood, he was even less so when he opened the door to Obito's stupid face._

" _Hey!" Obito yelped his foot barely stopping the door from closing in his face, Kakashi found himself glaring mutinously down at the appendage, "Listen, I'm not happy about this either but I am having some issues in the clan and need a place to crash."_

" _No."_

" _Come on, don't be such a dick for once in your life and help someone out."_

" _Go wake Kyoko up and invade her space, I don't need this."_

" _I don't know where she lives. Do you?"_

_Kakashi didn't know either._

" _Thought so." Obito nodded before pushing his way into Kakashi's apartment, "I'll just steal your couch or something, I can make breakfast in return?"_

" _Fine but you better be a good cook."_

_They settled down not long after, and as the silence in his apartment began to settle Kakashi felt himself start to drift off again._

" _Did you know Kyoko cuts her hair with a Kunai. She did it during training, I think I almost had a heart attack."_

" _Get out."_

_Kakashi has always held the good memories especially close, as if they may be enough to ward off the bad that plagued his mind._

They had a funeral for him, just the three of them. Kakashi had been grateful that Minato hadn't thought to invite the medic that had been on their team that night, he wasn't sure he could have taken it.

Either way, it was a private affair, with no body and no real time to offer other than what they were doing now. There were not even supposed to offer this much, but they had seemed to gather together anyways. Minato brought the picture, Kyoko the incense, and Kakashi four sticks of dango as some sort of halfassed offering.

They stood in silence for the longest time, he wasn't even sure when their teacher left only the jolting moment when she spoke.

"Is it raining?" He turned to her voice and felt something inside of him freeze as he stared at her. She was gazing up in confusion as tears ran down her face, like she wasn't crying, like it was somehow the cloudless skies fault.

"Maybe it is." He didn't have it in him to contradict her as his own tears gathered in his eyes. It was as good an excuse as any, after all.

He hadn't looked at her since they lost Obito, it wasn't that he didn't want to, he just couldn't. It wasn't that it was her fault either, if anyone was at fault for anything it would be him. He has fucked up in so many different ways, at this point his entire life was just a series of mistakes stacked on top of each other. His inability to look at Kyoko was just another one, and it had nothing to do with her.

But in that moment, he could see himself in her eyes, he could see his reflection in her dead fish eyes that didn't seem as dead anymore, just tired. She was tired, he was tired, he told himself it was the incense that made it so hard for him to breath. Under the trees in the team training ground they stood in under the sun in rain they claimed to fall from above and in the subtle shift of her weight he could see where another would stand.

There was a space between them he couldn't look at.

Kakashi wasn't the emotional type, wasn't one to wax poetry of the inevitability of life and death and whatever flowery juxtaposition someone wanted to compare the world they lived in to. Kakashi was just a ninja and that is all he ever wanted to be. He was mad at first, maybe at her, maybe at Obito, maybe at himself, but still he was mad in so many ways. He was so angry that they had made him more than just a shinobi, that somewhere down the line they made the word teammate mean something more than just a person he worked beside. The worst part was that he didn't even notice until it was too late.

And now he can't look at her because he can feel the ache of what used to be, he can feel that stupid word looming over his shoulder, in the way she accommodated him in her every decision like they were a unit and not two very separate people all on their own.

Kakashi was tired and just wanted to be alone.

" _I'm joining ANBU."_

" _Are you sure?" Minato didn't even have the decency to look surprised at Kakashi's announcement so Kakashi didn't bother to answer._

" _And Kyoko?" The blonde man continued as he carefully sharpened his Kunai._

" _I don't think I really care right now Sensei."_

_Kakashi didn't think he cared about much in that instant._

Fear was eating at the back of his neck and tearing down his spinal cord.

He couldn't find her.

They said there had been Mist ninja spotted near the area he knew Kyoko liked to meditate, a place he would ghost her on occasion in the spaces in between missions.

He couldn't always find her, he knew he might be panicking for no reason, but he couldn't get rid of the feeling that made his entire body shake. It made his tracking sloppy, made his Ninkin weary, but he couldn't stop the overbearing feeling that something was  **not** right.

"She was here earlier boss."

He hated when he could feel his heart beating behind his chest plate.

It took him ten minutes to locate her.

She looked odd, standing awkwardly with one hand pressed harshly to her stomach, the clearing littered with corpses as a few enemies kept their distance from her. She glanced at him, the same inappropriate amusement she always seemed to find coming back full force.

"Kakashi? Promise me something." Her voice was hoarse and her teeth flecked with blood, "Live for us, we know there is more than this."

"I promise."

It took five minutes for her to die.

_There are five hundred and sixty-three names on the memorial stone, of those names there are three that Kakashi knows the best. Every morning he stood before them, sometimes in the afternoon, sometimes in the dead of night when he remembers a knock at his apartment door. He stands there and lets the weight of what he has done settle on his shoulders and speaks to those he failed to protect._

_He was alone._

_He was alone and terrified with nothing left._

_Kakashi was holistically tired._

**Author's Note:**

> really pleased with this, my characterization of team Minato is one of my favorites to write so getting to write a bit from Kakashi's side of things was nice. This will be updated with no schedule, I'm starting the story Stagnant Waters and after I get things in order will start posting it so this will be kind of a write when I can thing.
> 
> Next up is Obito then Minato. I'm hoping to write Danzo, Roku, and Shi as well.


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